The Computer Swallowed Grandma

This is a tribute to all the Grandmas who have
been fearless and learned to use the Computer….

The computer swallowed grandma.
Yes, honestly its true!
She pressed ‘control’ and ‘enter’
And disappeared from view.

It devoured her completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.

I’ve searched through the recycle bin
And files of every kind;
I’ve even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.

In desperation, I asked Jeeves
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found ‘online.’

So, if inside your ‘Inbox,’
My Grandma you should see,
Please ‘Copy,”Scan’ and ‘Paste’ her
And send her back to me.

~ © 2004 Valerie Waite ~
(used with permission from the author)

Comments

  1. Rita Cook says

    Truly a lovely poem – I can just imagine the sketches – I am a grandmother of 5 as well…

  2. Valerie Waite says

    Re: The computer’s swallowed grandma poem. Copywrite V.Waite 2004.
    I wish to inform you that I am the author of the poem ‘The Computer’s swallowed Grandma’. The poem was originally written by me for the children’s page of a local magazine in July 2004 and it was published in the ‘Daily Mail’ English national newspaper (Peterborough page) on July 2nd 2004 (together with my name and address.)

    Since then the poem has appeared all over the world, either as ‘author unknown’, or ‘unknown’ or even ‘newspaper’; occasionally it does include my name. It is featured in my second book of illustrated poems ‘Little Gems’ published solely to raise funds for the Sight Saver Appeal at the Derbyshire Royal Infirmary. It has also been set to music by Eileen Lowry of Bristol and now appears (with our permission) as a free e.card.

    I am so pleased that ‘Grandma’ seems to be amusing so many people, and hope she will continue so to do, but the last two lines of your version are incorrect and should read ‘please scan, copy and paste her in an e.mail back to me.’

    The poem is included in the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art Verse and Prose Anthology (with my permission) and was recently used in the Mansfield and District Arts Festival. I can supply you with copies of my original drafts, sketches and correspondence if needed.

    Mrs. Valerie Waite. (Incidentally, I am a 77 year old Grandmother.)

  3. Caroline Power says

    Hi I live in Waterford, Ireland and after I had read this poem I cried my eyes this is the best poem I have ever seen for a grandmother. My mother is two years dead this week and I am going to use this poem for a tribute to her from the little girls especially the six year old because she loved my mother so much and is convinced that everytime she goes to visit the grave that my mother sends her down a little gift from heaven and she also looks at photos of my mother on the computer so I will use this poem for her.Thank You very much to the author whoever you are,well done. Caroline.

  4. says

    This is a great tribute to all those grandparents who learn to use the computer in our dotage! My dad acquired a computer when he was around eighty, and he composed his third book on the computer. Of course, we had to make quite a few house calls when something would pop up and he didn’t know what to do about it.

    On my website I have five of my favorite poems from my childhood. They are all old enough to be in the public domain. Come visit and see if you remember any of them!

    http://grandparents.about.com/od/projectsactivities/a/ChildrenPoems.htm

  5. says

    Hi Nana. What a good idea to suggest poems as gifts — something every granny would enjoy. It’s great too when the grandchildren write their own poems — the little ones can illustrate theirs and the older ones can print them out on the computer. Happy Holidays, Sally

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