During the first week of December, I received an email from an 18-year-old young woman who asked my help in finding her a poem for her grandmother’s funeral. Kirsty had a close relationship with her grandmother who had died unexpectedly. She didn’t have a chance to say goodbye. Kirsty searched for just the right poem, but was unable to find it.

I wrote back to Kirsty and told her I would try to help her either by writing a poem or finding one with the thoughts she had included with her email. It is difficult to write such a poem, not knowing the grandmother or granddaughter and their relationship together. In the meantime, my advice to this lovely, young woman was to try to write one from her heart or take a poem and personalize it. Whatever she wrote would be the perfect poem because it was from her.

I combined two poems and added a beginning and ending:

Nana, I didn’t get a chance
To tell you my goodbye.
God took you very suddenly
Sadly, I don’t know why.

I thought of you with love today,
But that is nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday,
And days before that too.

I think of you in silence,
I often speak your name.
All I have are memories,
And your picture in a frame.

Your memory is my keepsake,
With which I’ll never part.
God has you in his keeping,
I have you in my heart.

{Wings of the Angels
By Tim Chambers}

A gentle wind blew across the land
Reaching out to take a hand
For on the winds the angels came
Calling out a mother’s name.

Left behind, her children’s tears
Loving memories of the years
Of joy and love, a life well spent
And now to God a mother’s sent.

On angel’s wings, a heavenly flight
The journey home, towards the light.
To those who weep, a life is gone,
But in God’s love, ’tis but the dawn.

{end}

Spread your ever deserving wings,
Nana, angel above.
Please look down and watch over me,
Guide with eternal love.
Until we meet at Heaven’s door,
I’ll miss you ever more.

Kirsty chose the poem, “I’m Free” and personalized it for her Nan:

Don’t grieve for Nan, for now she’s free
Nan’s following the path God has laid you see.
She took His hand when she heard him call
Nan turned her back and left it all.
She could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to work, to play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way
Nan found that peace at the close of day.
If her parting has left a void
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss
Oh yes, these things Nan too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow
Nan wishes you the sunshine of tomorrow.
Her life’s been full, she savoured much
Good friends, good times, a loved one’s touch.
Perhaps Nan’s time seemed all too brief
Don’t lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your hearts and peace to thee
God gave Nan wings and let her fly free.
GOD BLESS, KIRSTY XX

The day before the funeral, Kirsty wrote to me:
Just wanted to say thank you again. the funeral is tomorrow. It’s going to be hard but I know I need to be brave for her. This poem is my way to say goodbye.

Kirsty wrote to me after the funeral:
I did it and I’m glad I did. It’s been a very emotional day, but at the same time a good day if that makes sense. Chatted, laughed and cried - considering the situation the day went really well.

My reply to Kirsty was:
I’m so glad you feel that way. It is good. Funerals are a celebration
of life. Today you honored your Nan. I’m sure she is looking down on
you with great pride.

You’re welcome, but you are the one who followed through with what you
felt was important. It is a sign of maturity. If you ever need to reach out
to someone, I’m here.
Nana

Kirsty gave me permission to share this with you in hopes that it may help you. I know this Christmas must have been difficult for her, as it was with the passing of our Mom-Mom this year. For all my visitors searching for just the right poems for the special ones in your lives that are now with you in spirit, my heart is with you this holiday season.

While thinking back on my mother-in-law’s funeral and how it affected our children and grandchildren, I began wondering what parting message I would want to leave for those grieving my death. Our daughter Kari wrote a lovely funeral poem that I have shared with my visitors. My brother-in-law has it hanging on the living room wall, in a small way to keep Mom Mom near. As I sat here at the computer tonight, the following poem came to mind. I want my children and grandchildren to know that I am always with them in spirit, everywhere they go for we are all part of nature. I can’t imagine a nicer way to stay with those we leave behind.

Nana Can’t Be With You

Nana can’t be with you, but remember this…

When you are lonely, curl up your fingers
Feel my hand in yours…

When you are happy, look to the stars
See my shining eyes…

When you are sad, sit in the sun
Feel the warmth of my love…

When you need me, walk in the garden
See me everywhere…

Know that I am with you, always

~ Nana’s Corner ~

I received an email this week from Dana who asked me to write a poem for a grandmother whose grandson had been killed in a car accident. She wants to include a poem that would reflect the grandmother’s and grandson’s close relationship in a framed collage of pictures for the grandmother to keep.

My response was that I didn’t feel that I could write such a special grandmother poem because I didn’t know the grandmother or grandson personally. A poem such as that should be written by someone who knew them and observed their special grandmother - grandson relationship.

I felt sad that I couldn’t fulfill her request so I searched for a grandmother poem that might come close and found the following poem. Words can be changed in any poem to create a more personalized poem for a loved one such as a grandmother, grandfather, or grandchild.

With a few changes, this poem could be turned around to be from a grandchild to a deceased grandmother.

Grandmother

I really felt quite special
That God had chosen you…
To be a person in my life
Who knew me through and through.

The time that we spent talking
I always felt you heard…
You were so good at listening
To each and every word.

Even things I didn’t share
You somehow heard them, too…
It was a special gift of care
That God had given you.

So I just want to thank you
For being there for me…
Showing me love that was so true
By loving me totally.

~ Author Unknown ~
(edited by NanasCorner, 2008)

Are you searching for a poem to read at your grandparent’s funeral? There are many funeral or bereavement poems to find on websites such as this one, but the best funeral poem would be one you write for your grandparent from your heart.

Recently, our children’s grandmother, Mom Mom, passed on to heaven and one of our daughters, Kari, wanted to express her feelings by reading a poem at the funeral. She searched but didn’t find one that was meaningful, so she wrote her own. Knowing her sister and brother felt the same, she wrote the funeral poem to their Mom Mom from the three of them.

It is a lovely, personal poem…it is from the heart. Kari has given me permission to post the funeral poem to their grandmother here for you to read. Perhaps this funeral poem to her grandmother will give you inspiration to write your own.

MOM-MOM
Mom-Mom, you gave us something special no other could,
The unconditional love from a Grandmother’s heart.
You watched us grow from babies to adults,
Always protecting us, advising us, and loving us.
You gave us so many memories…
From your coffee and coleslaw to your curlers, brush, and comb,
You giving scooter pies and making us grilled cheese.
Mom-Mom you were always there to talk to,
Always there to count on,
Always there for us to play with,
Even after Kaitlin and Emily were born.
On the morning of August 5^th, when we all got that phone call
Telling us you passed,
We lost more than just Mom-Mom,
A part of our hearts now gone.
We all will miss you forever Mom-Mom,
This emptiness never to be filled.
Even though we can’t believe you’re gone,
We all know you are watching from above.
We wish you were here with us now,
Though we understand you had to move on.
We may have lost our Mom-Mom on earth,
But we gained a guardian angel in Heaven.
We know you love us Mom-Mom,
And forever we will love you.
May God bless you Mom-Mom,
Because the Angel he took is You.

(Thank you, Kari)

Often a poem from a deceased grandparent and parent to those who mourn can give comfort reminding their grandchildren and children how they wish them to react to their loved one’s death…not to be sad but to celebrate life.

I’m Free

Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free
I’m following the path God has laid you see.
I took His hand when I heard him call
I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to work, to play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way
I found that peace at the close of day.

If my parting has left a void
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss
Oh yes, these things I too will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life’s been full, I savored much
Good friends, good times, a loved one’s touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief
Don’t lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your hearts and peace to thee
God wanted me now; He set me free.

~ Author Unknown ~

With my grandchildren’s great-grandmother passing away this past week, I am concerned about how they will react as time goes on. They attended the viewing and the burial ceremony. Kaitlin, the oldest of the two great-granddaughters placed drawings into the coffin from the two of them for Mom-Mom to take with her to Heaven. The person she saw did not look like her Mom-Mom that she remembered for she had lost too much weight. Perhaps that was a blessing. The casket was then closed before friends and relatives arrived to pay their respect.

I’ve searched for books to help us help Kaitlin and Emily with the questions that may be asked when the realization that they won’t see their great-grandmother again sets in. Here are some that I have found online:

	When Someone Very Special Dies: Children Can Learn to Cope with Grief A practical format for allowing children to understand the concept of death and develop coping skills for life.
	I Miss You: A First Look At Death When a close friend or family member dies, it can be difficult for children to express their feelings. This book helps boys and girls understand that death is a natural complement to life, and that grief and a sense of loss are normal feelings for them to have following a loved one’s death.
	Help Me Say Goodbye: Activities for Helping Kids Cope When a Special Person Dies An art therapy and activity book for children coping with death. Sensitive exercises address all the questions children may have during this emotional and troubling crisis.
	Nana Upstairs and Nana Downstairs Originally published in 1973, this autobiographical picture book was one of the first to introduce very young children to the concept of death.
	Healing Your Grieving Heart for Teens: 100 Practical Ideas (100 Ideas Series) Each page presents a different idea designed to help teens recognize mourning as a natural process connected with loss, reassuring them that they should not be afraid of deep, sometimes uncontrollable emotions, and showing them how to release grief in healthy, positive ways.

Since grief is a very personal emotion, so may be your choice of self-help books. Search Amazon.com further for more selections on grieving.