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2010/02/25
Sometimes looking to the future isn’t pleasant when your own independence may be in question. I am woman, hear me roar! I cherish my independence and my mobility. But there may come a day when it won’t be so. If I look to the future and plan ahead, hopefully I won’t be too much of a financial or emotional burden to my loving family.
My husband and I have both a Will and a Living Will so our children won’t need to make difficult decisions at a very emotional time. What we, and other aging parents, should do is to make it known to our children, close relatives, and friends what our wishes are for our quality of living with minimal financial stress during our remaining years if our cognitive abilities should lessen.
As I see it, living in my own home for as long as I can is definitely a way to save on expenses for my elder care. So, in order to not be too much of a burden and nuisance, here are my instructions to those who will be caring for Nana at home:
- Hire a cleaning franchise to clean the house and do the laundry – unless you really want to do it for me?
- Sign me up for meals on wheels – but only if it’s food you wouldn’t mind eating, too!
- Provide me with a pleasant-to-be with aide a few hours a day – not a chatter box or airhead, please!
- Help me organize my documents and legal necessities – hope I can remember where they are?
- Take turns calling me on the phone to brighten my days – only good news, nothing from CNN!
- Find activities I can do myself and outings that we can enjoy together – you can take me shopping since roles are changing
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- Visit with me, even if you have just a short time – it will give you an excuse to check up on me…
- Share the pleasure of being my caregiver – don’t be stingy! – There will be plenty for each of you to do…I’ll see to it!
- Help me care for a small dog or cat to keep me company – It’s all planned: cat will stay in, dog will have fenced in area to run near the door and you can hire a handsome dog walker, too.
- Keep me stylish even if I’m not aware – hair, nails, make-up, cool clothes – and no mustache or beard…please!!!
But, most of all, don’t let your caring for Nana cause strain on your own well-being and relationships. Caring for family elders can do just that, especially when there are differences in opinions as to what is needed for the best quality of living. This Nana’s advice is to communicate early on with your Nana to learn her wishes, don’t wait until a hasty decision must be made, research all options – ask questions – don’t assume. You may find you have more choices available…then make a tentative plan.
2010/01/17
As information about the horrors of the 7.0 Haiti earthquake unfold, our children will undoubtedly hear more and have more questions about this tragedy. Below are several suggestions on how to talk with children about this 7.0 haiti earthquake tragedy. These tips are provided by World Vision, the largest Christian humanitarian aid organization. World Vision has worked in Haiti for more than 30 years and today has hundreds of staff on the ground assisting in the relief and recovery efforts in Haiti.
For more information on World Vision’s efforts to help earthquake victims in Haiti, please visit World Vision’s website.
Talking to kids about tragedy
Talking to children about tragedy is a job most parents would love to avoid. If only our children did not need to hear about things like the devastating earthquake in Haiti. But of course, they do hear. And they are full of questions: Could this happen to me? What’s going to happen to the children? Can I do anything to help the children I see on TV?
World Vision US, a Christian humanitarian relief organization with hundreds of staff on the ground in Haiti, suggests eight ways to make a tough job a little bit easier.
1. Start by listening.
Find out what your kids already know. You can then respond in an age-appropriate way. The aim is not to worry them with the devastating details, but to protect them from misinformation they may have heard from friends or disturbing images they may have seen on television.
2. Provide clear, simple answers.
Limit your answer to the question asked and use simple language.
3. If you don’t know the answer, admit it
If your child asks a question that you can’t answer, tell them so, and then do some research to try and help them sort it out. If they ask “Why did this have to happen?” don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know.” If you are part of a faith community, the reassurance offered there can be invaluable in helping your child sort through the awful truth that awful things happen.
4. Follow media reports or online updates privately.
Young children in particular are easily traumatized, and seeing or hearing about the horrifying details of the quake are more than they can cope with. Adults, too, should ensure they are dealing with their own emotions by talking to others, so they can continue to respond well to their children’s need.
5. Concentrate on making them feel safe.
When tragedies occur, children wonder if the same event could happen in their hometown. If it was an act of nature that could not be repeated in your area, tell children that. Placing themselves in the situations of victims is not all bad—it is a sign of empathy, an essential life skill, but watch for signs of excessive worrying.
6. Give children creative outlets.
Some children may not be prepared to speak about what they have heard, but may find drawing or other creative activities helpful to deal with their emotions and stress. Their drawings can be helpful starting points for conversation.
7. Model involvement and compassion.
Tell your child that, as a family, you will be helping the people in Haiti by giving a donation to a reputable charity such as World Vision.
8. Give your child a chance to be involved.
Being involved in the solution will help relieve some of their anxiety. Invite them to contribute to the family’s gift by giving something out of their piggy bank.
2010/01/16
Getting immediate help is crucial if we are to save thousands from certain death after the 7.0 Haiti earthquake
Frank McKinney and his non-profit organization CHPF are so much more than just a charity providing homes for the people of Haiti – they offer hope and the means to become self-sustaining, thus allowing the people to retain their dignity. Well-known for creating multi-million dollar real-estate masterpieces, McKinney also ‘gives back’ by making generous donations to this worthy cause from the sale of these mansions. (You may also know McKinney as the author of the bestsellers: The Tap, Burst This! Frank McKinney’s Bubble Proof Real Estate Strategies, and Dead Fred, Flying Lunchboxes, and the Good Luck Circle and his appearances on Oprah Winfrey, CNN, NBC, FOX, CBS’ Early Show, and The Discovery Channel among many more.)
Frank McKinney Goes to Haiti with Earthquake Search and Rescue Team
Since all non-military flights were being denied access into Port-au-Prince, McKinney and his team of doctors, paramedics, firefighters and other team members specifically trained in search, rescue and extraction techniques, never gave up until they received clearance to land, becoming the first American Emergency Relief Team to arrive on the scene. They immediately set up their site operations relief camp and have been working diligently since their arrival last night, joining in with fifteen other countries and international teams in an organized relief effort.
Since speed is of the essence if lives are to be saved in the critical search and rescue window of opportunity, McKinney and his team will work towards obtaining whatever supplies are needed but they cannot do this alone – they desperately need your help in order to get these people on their feet, their lives restored, and their villages rebuilt.
How You Can Help McKinney and His Team Help Those in Need
McKinney has provided a list of the most necessary items needed to aid the victims. These are:
1) Search, rescue and extraction equipment
2) Medical and triage supplies
3) Food, water and blankets
4) Communications (phone/video)
5) Manpower
6) Donations
McKinney and his team are appealing to Americans and their inherent generosity to give whatever they can to help the poor people of Haiti whose homes and entire lives have been wiped out! Please go to http://www.frank-mckinney.com/donate.aspx for information on donating, or call 1- 561-722-3950. Any amount, no matter how small, will be greatly appreciated in this mammoth effort to save the lives of survivors of this catastrophe.
Thank you.
2009/12/07
| This year (2009), charitable agencies expect to have an increase in the number of families seeking assistance for the coming holidays over the amount they serviced in 2008. |
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There are national and local agencies offering Christmas help for low income families, but it is important that you contact them as soon as you can if you are a low income family in need of Christmas help.
If you are in need of free toys this Christmas for your children and need help in feeding your family a holiday meal, please contact your local branch of each of the following agencies. They may be able to give your family holiday assistance. It will help to have your children’s first names, ages, sizes, and wish list written down before you contact them.
Salvation Army
The Salvation Army provides a large social services program to help needy people of all ages. Donations provide free Christmas toys, dinners, and clothing for families in need. For Thanksgiving and Christmas help, you need to contact your local Salvation Army for details on how to register for holiday food baskets and Christmas toys ASAP! The time is now to make sure your family is on their reservation list.
Toys for Tots
Toys for Tots is a U.S. Marine Corps charity that collects new, unwrapped toys during October, November and December annually for Christmas. These free Christmas toys are distributed to children of low income families around the United States. Marine Toys for Tots makes it simple for you to receive free toys for your children, or for someone else. Search for the donation site in your state , follow their directions, and contact your local Coordinator.
United Way
United Way is accepting applications for free holiday food and toy assistance. To apply, families may need to present a picture identification card, Social Security cards for all family members, current proof of household income, proof of address (utility bill), and birth certificates or proof of custody for children ages 12 and under. Find your local United Way. The United Way can also direct you to agencies that can help you pay utility bills. Be sure to register for the Angel Tree program for your children to receive new Christmas gifts from local families.
Local Houses of Worship
Many local churches also offer free Christmas toys, meals, and clothes to families low income families. Be sure to reach out to churches in your community.
PLEASE READ: 2009 – I have received requests from young mothers for helping provide Christmas gifts for their children. As much as I would love to bring smiles to children on Christmas, I am not financially able to do so. All I can do is post information on where families in need may go for assistance – read through all the posts under the category help for families in need.
2009/05/12
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Are you planning a family fun vacation with your children and grandchildren this year? With the economy in such a bad way for so many, taking time to plan your vacation and budget is so very important to insure an enjoyable, stress free, family vacation without going deeper in debt. |
We’ve rented a bungalow that sleeps 8 for two different weeks this summer so we can spend time with our children and grandchildren. To help keep debt to a minimum, our family fun destination will be a short drive, just under two hours to our family down on the Jersey Shore in Ocean County. Not only will it be easier on our debt, we’ll be less stressed than if we had to worry about catching a flight. We’ll bring favorite movies, books, games, and snacks to help pass the time.
While planning our family fun in NJ vacation, there are some tips that we found that I’d like to share with you to help ensure family fun, minimizing the stress and debt, too:
1. Plan on which you want: to sightsee or spend more time relaxing. We chose the “relaxing” choice. It’s always good to get input from family members who will be vacationing with you as to what they prefer and the activities, too.
2. After you decide the type of family fun vacation, have your children and grandchildren help you research destinations, activities, costs including discounts and coupons. With a better understanding of the costs of lodging and activities beforehand, there will be less arguing over money (and less debt) allowing for more enjoyment. To help with family vacation budgeting, use a budget worksheet. Vacationing during an off-peak season can save you a lot of money, too. I love ways to lessen vacation debt!
3. According to the Travel Industry Association, shopping is a popular vacation activity. If you find yourself usually shopping while on vacation, develop a separate shopping budget so you won’t find yourself out of money before your family fun vacation is over. (And you won’t have credit card bills waiting for you when you arrive home!)
4. A bungalow, condo, or suite-type hotel may be more vacation budget friendly since they each include a kitchen. Our bungalow also includes a washer and dryer, an outdoor shower, a grill, and a play area behind the house. There is a small marina across the street where we can rent kayaks. We won’t have to spend much on gas once we get there…everything is within walking distance.
5. You can find more tips for family vacation planning and money management here to help prevent debt problems.
If you find your financial situation strained, consider debt counseling this year to help you work towards eliminating your debt so you’ll be able to plan a nice family vacation next year. Debt counseling helped my niece reduce her credit card debt and manage other debt that she had accumulated. The credit counseling they provided helped guide her through a rough time and got her out from under stressful debt obligations. Now she can, too, enjoy family fun vacations without the worry of accumulating more debt!
Use this Vacation Budget Worksheet for your family fun vacation planning.
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woman, hear me roar! I cherish my independence and my mobility. But there may come a day when it won’t be so. If I look to the future and plan ahead, hopefully I won’t be too much of a financial or emotional burden to my loving family.