Sometimes looking to the future isn’t pleasant when your own independence may be in question. I am woman, hear me roar! I cherish my independence and my mobility. But there may come a day when it won’t be so. If I look to the future and plan ahead, hopefully I won’t be too much of a financial or emotional burden to my loving family.
My husband and I have both a Will and a Living Will so our children won’t need to make difficult decisions at a very emotional time. What we, and other aging parents, should do is to make it known to our children, close relatives, and friends what our wishes are for our quality of living with minimal financial stress during our remaining years if our cognitive abilities should lessen.
As I see it, living in my own home for as long as I can is definitely a way to save on expenses for my elder care. So, in order to not be too much of a burden and nuisance, here are my instructions to those who will be caring for Nana at home:
Hire a cleaning franchise to clean the house and do the laundry – unless you really want to do it for me?
Sign me up for meals on wheels – but only if it’s food you wouldn’t mind eating, too!
Provide me with a pleasant-to-be with aide a few hours a day – not a chatter box or airhead, please!
Help me organize my documents and legal necessities – hope I can remember where they are?
Take turns calling me on the phone to brighten my days – only good news, nothing from CNN!
Find activities I can do myself and outings that we can enjoy together – you can take me shopping since roles are changing .
Visit with me, even if you have just a short time – it will give you an excuse to check up on me…
Share the pleasure of being my caregiver – don’t be stingy! – There will be plenty for each of you to do…I’ll see to it!
Help me care for a small dog or cat to keep me company – It’s all planned: cat will stay in, dog will have fenced in area to run near the door and you can hire a handsome dog walker, too.
Keep me stylish even if I’m not aware – hair, nails, make-up, cool clothes – and no mustache or beard…please!!!
But, most of all, don’t let your caring for Nana cause strain on your own well-being and relationships. Caring for family elders can do just that, especially when there are differences in opinions as to what is needed for the best quality of living. This Nana’s advice is to communicate early on with your Nana to learn her wishes, don’t wait until a hasty decision must be made, research all options – ask questions – don’t assume. You may find you have more choices available…then make a tentative plan.
I’m a member of the Sandwich Generation. This membership places me in the middle of the family order. On one side, I love, cherish, and worry about our children and their children. It’s only natural. On the other side, I love, cherish, and worry about the elder parent side. It’s only natural.
As a family grows, so does the love…and the worry. My step-mother is now 90, a young 90. She drives, travels, and exercises. Her age is beginning to catch up with her, which also is only natural. I spoke with her last night. She has a virus and is confined to her home. There is a support system in place where she and her neighbors check on each other regularly. There is also a security system in her apartment consisting of a pull-chord in the bathroom and one in the kitchen, but that is minimal. She’d have to be in the room to use it.
I worry about her. What if she became weak and collapsed, slipped and fell in the shower, tripped on the rug in her bedroom or in her living room, or went for some fresh air outside and fell down the stairs - away from the two pull-chords? She may not be able to call for help or too ill to do so.
During lunch today at school, I expressed my concerns with other teachers who also have elder parents. I learned that some of them have the ADT Personal Emergency Response System. With this senior citizen security, one teacher’s parent wears a waterproof pendant and one wears a waterproof wristband. If they have a medical emergency, all they have to do is press a button. By pressing the button, the signal goes through the phone line and ADT home security is contacted.
I visited their website and read up on ADT and their senior citizen security system. ADT is the #1 security company in America. I found they are offering AARP members 50% off installation and $2.00 off monthly monitoring which is a total of $74 AARP savings on the first year.
I’m going to contact them for their free home evaluation. With a medical security system in place, I’ll worry less knowing she’ll be monitored 24 hours a day, 7 days a week by a company that has always had a respectable reputation.
Have you used ADT for home or medical alert security? If yes, let me know your opinion.
Grandchildren are so wonderful to be with. They bring back happy memories from our parenting days and bring smiles to our grandparenting days. They are what keep us young at heart. Grandchildren give us a chance to be kids again…we get to watch cartoons, play with toys, make sandcastles, visit playgrounds, and visit the land of make believe.
We are lucky to be grandparents in this wonderful, sometimes frustrating, technology age. We can still stay in touch with our grandchildren whether we are around the corner, around the world, or somewhere in between. With online scrapbooks, digital photo albums, webcam sites, interactive games and more, grandparents and grandchildren can stay in touch, stay connected, and visit often just with a few clicks. (more…)
If you haven’t visited the Legacy Project’s website, you should. There are intergenerational activities for grandparents and grandchildren to do together. You will also find a Grandparents Day activity kit with ideas and tips to bring grandparents and grandchildren closer together including parenting tips to help build stronger relationships. Read about and write your own Life’s Statement and share it with your grandchildren. You’ll be glad you found the Legacy Project’s website.
OVERVIEW
The Legacy Project explores who we are, where we’ve come from, and where we’re going – as individuals and as communities. It is a “big picture,” multigenerational education initiative that builds on and enhances the education children receive in school, and provides avenues for lifelong learning for all ages.
The Legacy Project offers opportunities for children and adults to think, to learn, to dream, and to make a difference in their own life and our world.
To borrow a common phrase, the Legacy Project not only looks at the trees, but also the forest. We bring together diverse ideas to explore current issues like the importance of building intergenerational connections and the ideas passed from one generation to the next; who children are now and the dreams for who they will become; the lifelong learning potential of adults; our connection to and impact on the environment; the kinds of communities we want to create; and the choices we make every day that have both short-term and long-term consequences on personal and social levels.
We all need a some humor in our lives…it helps to keep us feeling younger…why not some grandparent humor? My gift to you is a clip of Bill Crosby sharing stories about his parents. There are some things about parents that just don’t change over the generations, LOL! Enjoy…
woman, hear me roar! I cherish my independence and my mobility. But there may come a day when it won’t be so. If I look to the future and plan ahead, hopefully I won’t be too much of a financial or emotional burden to my loving family.
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