Our grandchildren call their grandfather, Poppy. He has been retired for the past nine years. Ever since our first grandchild was born six years ago, he has been the “nanny.” When our daughter returned to work, he started taking care of the baby two days a week. His days with our grandchild helped to relieve some of expense of day care and was a great joy for both of them. They have had many, many happy “Poppy days.” I would come home from work after an aggravating commute…and he would be the one relaxed and exhausted. (I’ve been sooo jealous!)

Up until two years ago, they lived just 5 minutes away; the drive is now 25 minutes. But that hasn’t deterred Poppy. Every Tuesday and Thursday he is there waiting at dismissal time. After he picks her up, they stop to get something to eat, play outside, and do homework. On special event days, he makes a point to be there, too. Our daughter teaches at a learning center 5 minutes from their home where the younger grandchild attends. She and her mommy are able to spend some quality time together during her breaks. Soon, Poppy will start taking the little one for her own “Poppy time.”

Poppy and the older granddaughter have a bond that I will never have, but that is okay. I’m able to spend every Saturday with her and her sister and mommy, along with Poppy – of course. We make it special by going out for lunch plus an enjoyable planned activity. In the summer when I’m off from school, we have “Poppy and Nana days” with both the girls twice a week. We take turns spending quality time with each child so we all get some one-on-one time.

It is amazing watching them get so excited when they discover something for the first time. They find enjoyment in the simplest things. It seems to bring me back to what is really important in life: family and keeping it all simple. I also think it keeps me young. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be a long distance grandmother, or one that never makes the effort to spend time with her grandchildren. You couldn’t keep me away…or Poppy, too.

I understand that being the “nanny,” whether you are the Poppy or the Nana, is not for everyone, or there may be times that cause tension, when you may feel too much is expected of you. If so, read the article by Mary E. Hart entitled, Are Grandparents Obligated to Help Out?

We help because we want to, but we wouldn’t enjoy it if we felt we were obligated to do it. We provide the support on a regular schedule, yet there is flexibility for times that may come along when we just can’t be there. It works for all of us. It is our choice, and our daughter and son-in-law understand that there may come a time when we just aren’t up to it anymore. My advice is to keep it honest; communicate your needs, feelings and concerns. If you do that, everyone will enjoy the time between grandparents and grandchildren.

Visit these helpful sites for ideas, insight, and information:

• AARP: Grandparenting
• Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

We want to hear from all grandparents. This blog is open to all to share your concerns, advice, and wonderful discoveries together. Do you have questions to ask other grandmothers? Do you have suggestions and tips that helped you with your grandchildren? Do you have funny stories and / or pictures to share? Just email them to Nana’s Corner and I will gladly post them.

Posted by Nana on December 12th, 2007 at 2:15 pm
Filed under: Grandparents |  |  Leave a comment  |  Trackback